Do not be condemned to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect. Romans 12:2
Are you feeling distant from Jesus? Do you feel as if your relationship with Him is suffering due to worldly matters? Is the feeling of conviction flooding your heart because you contradicted your beliefs? You are not alone. I hope the biggest takeaway you receive from this entry is simply that you are not alone. Nor that these feelings should turn you away from Jesus. If anything, these feelings should reassure you about your love for Him. Those who do not wish to follow Him would not have deep impacts or opinions that they are doing something wrong. Those who are following their ways of life would continue trusting themselves without batting an eye. If you feel that void, or you feel guilty over your actions, that means you understand His ways are superior to yours.
Our generation lacks humility.
"I will be fine. A few drinks will not corrupt my driving."
"I have studied enough, so I can go out tonight."
"At least I do not do hard drugs, nicotine is less severe."
Translates to:
"I am putting other people at risk."
"I care more about alcohol and partying than I care about my academics."
"I am better than those who consume other types of drugs."
To be frank, God sees all sins as equal (James 2:10). You must be humble enough to submit your entire self to Him- your mistakes and all. God will not knock on your door; you must humble yourself to open the door and invite Him inside. Your faith needs to be stronger than your desires. The enemy knows your name but calls you by your sin. God knows your sin but calls you by name. The difference is strong and apparent. Avoiding temptations in college is far easier said than done; believe me, I understand the struggle. And there are days when I do not feel deserving of God's love and patience because of my inconsistency with Him, but my praise for God needs to be louder than my sins.
So if you are struggling to place God at the forefront of your life, this entry is solely for you.
So the trouble is not with the law, for it is spiritual and good. The trouble is with me, for I am all too human, a slave to sin. I don't understand myself, for what I want to do what is right, but I don't do it. Instead, I do what I hate. Romans 7:14-15
Saint Augustine once said, "Without God, what am I but a guide to my destruction?" A sin is called a sin for a reason. Chances are, you feel unpleasant after doing something you know leads you further from God. Whether the unpleasant feeling is physical, emotional, or spiritual, the feeling is there, and boy, is it LOUD. Why do we get obliterated on the weekends? To fill a void that only He can fill. Maybe it is based on insecurities, maybe you are yearning for a distraction from your busy life, maybe you just need the depressant that alcohol is, but you wake up and typically say, "I am never drinking again," because the unpleasantness that follows is unbearable. We do what we hate to avoid what we need to do for ourselves.
College is a time of transformation. We venture through major struggles: homesickness, loneliness, stress, anxiety, fear of the future, etc. We lean on worldly matters (alcohol, drugs, external validation) to mask our issues, and we become disappointed when these temporary fixations do not resolve anything. They are temporary, but God's love is everlasting (Jeremiah 31:3). As a 21-year-old navigating college with Christ, it is easy to get wrapped up in the "college experience". It is typical for our age and generation to do so, but just because it is expected does not mean it is necessarily beneficial. I have had the college experience, and sure, it was fun, and I gained a lot of silly memories and stories, but I also gained a need for validation, self-doubt, and adversaries. Most importantly, I gained conflict within my faith, which is the biggest factor that led me away from the "college experience."
As soon as I began walking away from Him, my own will began leading me down the wrong path. Bold of me to assume I can handle this world using my own judgment. Do you ever feel like that one getaway sheep Jesus has to keep running after (Matthew 18:12)? Because same.
By no means do I ridicule those who partake in this lifestyle. Live your life the way you want to live it. Who am I to tell you what you can or cannot do, let alone judge, when I am in the same boat? The entry is dedicated to those who have felt, are feeling, or may feel like the distractions of college are interrupting their relationship with Jesus. The entry is for those who do not feel like they can escape their current behaviors. And the entry is specifically for those who wish to change to be more at peace in their faith.
So, what actions have I taken over the past few months to prioritize my relationship with Jesus? I'll tell ya!
Talk about it.
Simply talk about it. Talk about your faith. Talk about your goals. Talk about your relationship with Him. Your circle, if they are authentic, will want you to be passionate about this. I do not shut up about my love for Christ, and some of my friends aren't Christian, yet they sit, listen, and sometimes ask questions. Talking about it will cultivate a community, and it will create a deeper understanding of your intensity for Him.
Find a church/group.
In college, I never anticipated myself going to church. I believed I would just study Scripture by myself or join a club on campus. Last year, a good friend of mine introduced me to a Catholic cathedral in my college town, and since then, I felt a pull to attend church on Sundays. After a year at the cathedral, I ventured out and found a different church that captivated me a tad more. That's the beauty of it- explore, discover new resources, meet new communities- your views are always changing. Get into a community; whether this is a college club, a local church, a youth group, or whatever it is, get involved and watch how inspired you will be surrounded by equally-yoked individuals.
Buy new study tools.
Read the Scripture. My oh my, is it POWERFUL (& enlightening). Being able to annotate and understand the Gospels, the Old and New Testament, and overall expanding your knowledge in the Word is worthwhile. Your world will be flipped upside down. Purchase a bible, grab a few utensils, and just sit and read. You may need a translator here and there, though, we all do.
Say no.
You do not need to go out every weekend, I promise. Even if you are not practicing your faith, your body needs a break once in a while. Do not kill yourself by getting blacked out three days a weekend- it is simply not beneficial for your life. My hardest habit to let go of was saying "yes". Since freshman year, I have had awful FOMO, and when a friend would look at me and say, "Want to go out?" I would already be squeezing into my jeans and slapping makeup on my face. But let me tell you, actually no, let me convince you, a Saturday night spent watching movies, sitting around with some friends, eating fun foods, and getting to bed before midnight is far superior in my eyes. Or cuddling up in bed, scrolling through Pinterest, binge-watching a TV show, and drinking some hot tea. Mm. Cannot beat it, especially when you can wake up early in the morning without a pounding headache and loads of hangxiety. Just say no once in a while, and watch how much you'll enjoy slower nights.
Pray
Last, and most importantly, talk to the Man. He wants you to. Tell him about your test, about the boy or girl, about your family, etc. Anything that comes to your mind that you feel inclined to tell someone, tell Him. Prayer is stereotyped to be this well-thought-out, lengthy event. No. Nada. Zip. Quite literally, just say hi here and there. The smallest prayers tend to make the biggest impacts. Sooner or later, talking to Him will become normal, and you will not go a day without thanking Him.
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