You'll never be happy if you keep finding your happiness in others, your happiness lives in you. Avantika Mavale
I feel like everyone can sort of agree that life can get boring and/or draining. We get stuck in a repetitive cycle of waking up, doing our daily tasks, and going to bed. The routine part of life is what ruins the excitement that life actually offers. I had a person criticize me for "pretending my life is a movie". By the constant belittling, I began to see romanticizing life as ridiculous and unnecessary. The person would always tell me to be "realistic" and that life is not that exciting nor does it need to be glamorized.
My five points that contradict "life does not need to be glamorized":
1. The difference in lifestyle
I became insecure about my lifestyle when I was told this. I thought I was doing "too much" and that I truly did need to become more practical. I stopped writing letters/making gift baskets for people just because, going on sunset bike rides, ordering a venti at Starbucks because it looked more aesthetically pleasing (okay, that probably was a good option for my bank account, but you get the point...), taking myself on cute, solo dates, etc. I stopped doing the small things that made my life enjoyable because I was being told it was unrealistic. I stuck to a small, simplistic routine and the only word I can describe that time of my life is sad. I was in the worst state--I did not find joy in anything and I could not pin point why life became so bland.
The minute I took that negativity out of my life, it was almost as if a curtain was being shoved opened in a dark room. The little things in life truly do matter: taking a nice walk after it rained and seeing nature at its peak, driving with your windows down and your favorite song blasting through the speakers, putting on a stunning outfit and walking in a city with friends, etc. There is absolutely nothing wrong with "pretending you are in a movie" and creating high expectations for your life. Do those things that make you feel alive and do not listen to a person's opinion on how to live your life. Let that person be content with not understanding that there is more to life than a routine.
2. The excitement in life
I have been in the stage, "Life is dull--it is just an endless cycle," multiple times, and if you are currently dealing with this struggle, I am going to give you a piece of advice. It is easy to complain that life is a drag, but you cannot complain if you are not doing anything to make it exciting. Life will not just smack you with a winning lottery ticket or a surprise trip to the Maldives (even though I wish it did). You cannot expect life to be this perfect image all the time; certain situations are despicable and that is when it is most crucial to romanticize.
For example, I had a rough day at work back in June. I could have went home, thrown myself on my bed, and just laid there in my misery. I had every right to do so, and depending on how one feels, it is totally okay to have those days. I am not saying you are not entitled to being upset or angry, but if you want to avoid these harsh emotions, try something different. Instead, I drove myself to a park, sat on top of my car, ranted in my journal, and stargazed. It was something so little, but it made me calmer and life more beautiful. To see life in a broader view other than just wallowing in a small misfortune takes practice, but at the end, it leads to severe personal growth.
3. Picnic dates
If you follow me on any social media platform, you would know I adore solo-picnic dates. My grandmother gifted me this coral, waterproof blanket that zips up into a bag, and it is perfect to lay out on. I drive to a park, lay out this blanket, and unpack all the things I bring with me; I typically bring my journal, my blog notebook, a book, a speaker, a snack, a coffee, and a few writing utensils (sometimes even my laptop). For about three hours, I am enjoying my time writing, listening to music, reading, and growing into the person I aim to become. You see, a year ago, I never wanted to spend time alone. Validation from others was all I craved. I would feel so lonely and uncomfortable in my own space. The more time I spend by myself, the more I get to know who I am as a person and what I need to modify to become better within.
To romanticize your life, I recommend spending a lot of time re-getting to know you; that is the first step. Once you are truly comfortable by yourself and completing things by yourself, you will see life in your eyes and your eyes only. Other people will no longer be able to influence you or guide you in a path that is not right for you. I let that person convince me that my expectations were "too much" and that seeing life as a movie was ridiculous because I truly did not know who I was, so I believed their image of me instead.
If picnics are not your thing, try working out by yourself, try shopping, try going on a solo vacation, etc. Do anything you will find peace in and do it by yourself. Do not get me wrong, I cherish my support system more than anything. I have mentioned how important it is to surround yourself with loved ones, but you need to be content with who you are before focusing on who is around you.
4. "But Leah, too many bad things have happened in my life to glamorize it."
Character development. I truly, truly believe that unfortunate things happen to test you. The test is whether you find the glass half full or half empty. All of us have dealt with a handful of situations we wish we never had to face, but it shaped us to who we are, today. If you see your life as dull and draining, then I encourage you to reflect on your past, come to terms with the things that have hurt you, forgive, and move on. It is much easier said than done, I understand, but like I said, you cannot just snap your fingers and expect life to be blissful. You have to work for it. For the longest time, I just accepted all the bitterness in; if a bad thing happened, I would rant, cry, and be upset for what seemed like forever, and it was never worth it.
If there are, "too many bad things," then you have a lot of opportunities to find the positive aspects and flip the narrative. You failed a test? Find a dainty café to study at, make your notes pleasing, and study harder. Got rejected by a boy/girl? Pick yourself up by taking some nice pictures of yourself or go out with friends. In a slump? Go for a run or a walk outside and enjoy fresh air. You will look more forward to the future once you start committing yourself to enjoying the little things.
5. Life is your own movie
The minute I stopped caring about other people's perceptions on how I live my life and the way I go about situations is when I felt the most free. After I stopped letting this person affect my view on life, I felt even more encouraged to make life a movie. I mean, after all, everyone is living their own movie. Think about it: you have plot twists, personal development, villains, heroes, love stories, happy endings, not-so happy endings, etc. You are the director; make your movie enjoyable for yourself. Do the things that make you motivated and see life as this beautiful opportunity. Find love in the purest form and do not settle for less. Create bonds and memories with people that will last a lifetime. Create a movie worth re-watching.
If you need a boost or some inspiration, here is a list of some ways I romanticize my life:
Solo picnic dates
Working out in a cute outfit
Trying different coffees at local cafes
Making Pinterest boards
Waking up early to workout during the sunrise
Stargazing
Going to the public library to study
Dancing in public
Taking tons of pictures/videos
Smiling at strangers
Listening to empowering music
Eating appealing, healthy foods
Making my bed every morning
And there is so much more.
Create your own methods and fall in love with life all over again. Find the excitement in the unknown, and be prepared to flip a bad situation into a positive one. It takes practice and time, but it is so rewarding. You are important, and your mindset on life is just as equally important.
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